I write a blog that few eyes see

So someone said, “If you Twitter, you’ll get as many followers as you please.”

Now I’m an old woman whose ears hear mutter

So I asked my grown daughter, “Can you help me to twutter?”

When that didn’t work I put it aside

Until a friend nudged, “Go on, give it another try.

My teenage son knows all about social fodder

So I smiled and said, “Teach your mama to twatter.”

Out through both nostrils spewed the milk he was drinking

“Mom! Shh. What the heck are you thinking?!?”

In time…and with help, I got the account

Am just now discovering  what Twitter’s really about

A chance to stalk Ellen, Oprah even Jay Z

And 140 measly characters to entice anyone to stalk me.